FMU Bites Into Some LeMons

25 Oct FMU Bites Into Some LeMons

This past weekend, Fluid MotorUnion’s Andrew experienced one of the most quirky and interesting corners of the motorsport world — the 24 Hours of LeMons.

Originally started in 2006, the 24 Hours of LeMons is a series of endurance races that occur across the country, in which the participants must race cars that cost no more than $500. Not all races are truly 24 hours in length (as some courses don’t allow overnight endurance racing), but each event features 14 or more hours of driving, split evenly between two days. All cars have to meet certain safety requirements, which don’t factor into the price limit (roll cages, safety harnesses, fire extinguishers, etc.). To allow a wider variety of crappy cars to enter, you’re also allowed to buy a car that costs more than $500 and sell off parts to bring the overall value down to that amount.

Much of the racing isn’t a joke — the actual racing itself is closely monitored, nobody’s allowed to intentionally hit others cars or drive like a total maniac without feeling the judges’ punishments. Pit crews take their work seriously, trying their damndest to keep their lemons running long enough to finish the event. Punishments for infractions, however, are probably the silliest part of the entire race. Cars are subject to punishments (for either good reason or seemingly no reason whatsoever) that range from the legitimate to the absolutely ludicrous. Each race, the punishments can differ, ranging from tarring/feathering to the addition of parts meant to increase wind resistance and slow the car down. One punishment, the Grille of Damocles, was given to love-tap-happy racers; it consisted of a plate with spikes attached to the radiator. Any further collisions would push the Grille of Damocles into the offenders’ radiator, spilling its contents and ending its race. Cars can be purchased by the judges at every race, no questions asked, and some cars don’t even make it off the lot, thanks to the People’s Curse.

Each race, the drivers vote for the People’s Curse, and halfway through the day’s events, the “winner” of that vote has his car destroyed on the spot. Overall, it adds quite a surreal element to a normally intensely-serious sport. Everybody that participates in these races loves everything about motorsport, and nobody leaves unhappy. It’s quite an experience to witness.

This year, the event was held at Joliet’s Autobahn Country Club, and was named The Rod Blagojevich Never-Say-Die 500. Here are some shots from the second day’s festivities:

Thanks to AJ of Ill Photography for pointing out what this car used to be — an FB RX-7 with the roof chopped off. And here we were, thinking it was a bathtub with some axles welded on.

It wouldn’t be LeMons if something didn’t start on fire, like this EF Civic eventually did. Yellow flags weren’t uncommon at the event.

Not all cars are built for aerodynamic prowess, as was the case with this Buick LeSabre. Form over function!

This Crown Vic’s stripper pole was welded to both the frame and the roll cage, so it didn’t wobble much, but it couldn’t have helped, either. The second driver of this car locked the brakes and oversteered through this corner every time. How it avoided a black flag is beyond us.

Our favorite part about this Geo is the obviously Zonda-influenced quad tailpipes.

While quite creepy, this Nixon effigy also added a touch of vintage nostalgia to this wood-panel-bedecked Saturn

It’s always good to see an E30 still racing, even though it’s in LeMons. This car was scarily faster than everything else on the course.

There were some certainly serious vehicles in attendance, as well. Two of them caught our eye almost immediately, an old Porsche and an equally old Austin Healey:

Autobahn features two courses, a North and South course. While the LeMons race took place on the North course, the South course featured some more serious driving machines, namely a Lotus Exige, a Porsche GT3 and some very loud (and quick) spec Miatas:

That 944 looked halfway to tipping over every time it took this corner. Mad props to the driver for his spirited line!

Overall, it was an incredibly fun day. We met some serious gearheads and had a great time listening to Ford Tauruses and Probes driving around with open headers. It’s a shame that we have to wait another year for the next event, but we’ll be waiting with bated breath.