There Are No Words For This

28 Sep There Are No Words For This

This morning, Fluid MotorUnion’s world was rocked. It wasn’t just our world, though; anybody who’s visited Fatlace, Speedhunters or StanceWorks (and probably a large number of various enthusiast forums) this morning has been witness to one of the most undoubtedly ludicrous, deep-love-or-deep-hate-inducing cars to grace the series of tubes we call the internet.

Mike Burroughs is no stranger to us, nor we to him. He’s visited us, he did a photoshoot of our E90 M3 sedan, he wrote and shot our features in Performance BMW Magazine, and Fluid MotorUnion is one of the sponsors of StanceWorks’ forum. His prowess with a camera and also the written word is second to none. He can take the ordinary and make it extraordinary. And that is exactly what he did with this E28.

To explain this car just by the numbers doesn’t do it justice, but in the interest of science, we’ll give it the ol’ college try. Let’s start with the stance. To say this car is low is a gross understatement. It hugs the ground to the point where the tires contact the asphalt as much as the frame rails do. To make things even more mind-boggling, this car is rolling on 17″ 24k-gold-plated magnesium Ronal Racing splits. It’s like the ugliest girl at prom showed up in $10,000 heels. And brought George Clooney as her date.

Speaking of the ugly, the truly insane parts of this car lie within the aesthetics of the body itself. The top of the roof is chopped and brought down approximately five inches, and the exterior and interior are both thoroughly rusted (through Burroughs’ liberal use of used diesel oil as a replacement for Armor All and carnuba wax). The interior received a more genre-appropriate update, looking like the inside of a mid-1940’s science fiction movie left outside for sixty years. It can’t be comfortable, but nothing about this car screams creature comforts. It sucks to roll this hard, truly. Oh, and let’s not forget that this entire car is powered by a Mk III Supra’s 1JZ-GTE. Yep, a Supra engine in an E28. German tears are being shed from coast to coast.

This Bimmer is a complete amalgamation of a majority of the “styles” currently circulating through the car enthusiast world. The 1JZ hearkens back to the JDM scene, the car itself obviously representing EUDM, the roof and the rust are pulled from the rat rod aesthetic accumen, and the wheels and drop are perfect examples of what to expect from a serious stance enthusiast. Not since Voltron or the Power Rangers has something so cool consisted of so many individual cool things.

Burroughs has once again created a car that is not defined within a specific set of characteristics; rather, the car creates a new definition of art. Its beauty lies within its ability to break free of any one stereotype and simultaneously slap every scene across the face, saying, “Hey, look what I just did. Good luck topping this.” Good luck indeed.

We at Fluid salute Burroughs’ willingness to push the envelope so far that it’s not even really an envelope anymore.